The dinosaur behind the perpetual smile
He loves you, and according to the song, you love him.
Why exactly, who knows? Barney the educational, extremely friendly dinosaur is largely an enigma.
His inveterate smile, seemingly unambiguous, in fact serves further to confound.
There is little room for interpretation in Barney's tightly controlled world, a world of hugs, only polite dissent and simultaneous-knee-bend choreography.
But underneath the purple haze is a Barney we adults know little about. A Barney craving to narrow the gap with the adults who criticize him. An elderly fellow young at heart who claims to be 200 million years old, a purported survivor of the "Big Asteroid" that wiped out the dinosaurs 62 million years ago.
In preparation for his live-show tour, "Barney's Colorful World," which comes to the Bi-Lo Center Friday and Saturday, the purple one took some time over the phone to talk about his family life, political aspirations and the NBA finals.
Like, for real. Like, the real Barney. No joke.
The News: Whereabouts do you live?
Barney: I live in your imagination … and I shoot my show in Dallas.
N: The "I Love You, You Love Me" song. So resonant after more than a decade. What inspired you?
B: I don't know. I just felt it in my heart.
N: You don't wear shoes, but Baby Bop and BJ do. Is it a back-to-basics '60s thing — as in 60 million B.C.?
B: It's actually kind of hard to fit me. Sometimes I go into Foot Locker and I scare off those people. They run away. But I have worn some tap shoes recently.
N: How do you think you've been able to survive the metaphorical cataclysmic asteroid of a fickle pre-school audience?
B: I guess if I can survive the real asteroid, I can survive anything.
N: How have you kept your youth for so long? Botox? Is that why your smile is frozen?
B: Botox does come in handy sometimes. I think it's all the dancing, just all the jumping around. Although my stomach, I don't know what's up with that. It's growing.
N: You seem to have been battling your weight over the years? Are you a carnivore, an Atkins diet loyalist?
B: No, I pretty much eat what I want. Sometimes I'll go into a restaurant, and they'll hand me the menu, and I'll say, "Yes, thank you."
N: Do you ever frown, at least on the inside?
B: I've never actually thought about it. I don't think anything's ever made me sad. Usually, a little sad thing starts to come in, and I kick it out with a big smile. Always be happy, I say.
N: A good many adults don't seem to get you, what with sitcoms and skits poking fun at you? Do you just laugh it off?
B: I don't really notice that. I'm so busy on my tour and my TV show. Do they really make fun of me?
N: Yeah, some of the Saturday Night Live stuff.
B: Oh, you're kidding. What do they say? What's that old thing, about impersonating people …?
N: The sincerest form of flattery?
B: That's it! I'm trying to get on "The Tonight Show." Now I know Jay Leno makes a lot of jokes about me, and I've got some of my own for him.
N: How hard is it to fight the stereotype of the "mean dinosaur" like those portrayed in "Jurassic Park"?
B: It's funny to me, because I've never seen it. There's always scary things, but I'm not. How can you be purple and really scary? Maybe if those T-Rexes had smiled a little, people wouldn't have run.
N: If you ran for president, and the voting age was set at age 18 maximum, how do you think you'd fare?
B: Oh, I don't know. I've had some ideas, like maybe calling it the Purple House instead of the White House. I think I would do pretty well.
N: You might have some problems with the teens, but you'd definitely win the preschool set, right?
B: Oh, I don't know. You know, those teens have grown up watching me, hopefully. Maybe they could find it in their heart to vote for me.
N: Those trans-dimensional journeys you do from the Land of Make Believe, do they take a toll on you?
B: You notice when I come to life on the set there, I kind of jump, like, "Whoaaaa!" I've landed on roller skates before. I've actually been inside a box. It's kind of like those old "Quantum Leap" shows: You never know where you're going to end up.
N: Is there a special someone in your life that we should know about?
B: Just all the kids. They make me so happy.
N: You spend so much time with others' children. Any plans for some of your own?
B: Ha, ha, ha. No. You're a funny one.
N: How did the death of Mr. Rogers, a true neighbor to us all, hit you?
B: Mr. Rogers was a great man. He will be deeply missed. He was an inspiration to all. He was such a kind man who did so many wonderful things for children.
N: Any plans for a Barney/Wiggles musical collaboration? The convergence of two such forces would be unstoppable.
B: That would be a great idea. I was thinking of taking my road tour to Broadway, so why not go the next step and make a movie? But you know what? I would have to direct.
N: Who do you like in the NBA finals? Or would you prefer that everybody win?
B: If whoever wins wins, then they were meant to win. How's that? I don't really care, just as long as they're happy when they're playing.
N: So it's the spirit of enjoyment of the competition?
B: And teamwork. Any team that has purple — yes. Who is purple?
N: The Lakers.
B: Oh, excellent. Go Lakers!
